Hi all,
The next couple of posts on the blog are going to be me attempting to be creative. I have been a long-time fan of the MMO Runescape and recently me and some friends have wanted to take our clan on it more seriously. Making attempts to recruit and do more group based activity and the like.
That is where the seriousness stops funnily.
Within the clan, there has been a narrative built up around the legend that is: Dharok the Wretched.
I want to give a bit of insight into the story of Dharok and the slow decent into madness that has overcome some members of the clan. It might clear some things up!
Before the clan was formed, me and my friends never really played Runescape overly seriously. Did the odd bit of group PvM and skilling, nothing major. Invention made things a lot easier for us. With the elite skill’s arrival, Barrows equipment massively jumped up in price meaning climbing the ladder became much easier.
This was when I first ran into our new Lord and Saviour.
I had never run Barrows before. My gear was pretty poor so most runs were tight. But I was spurred on with the promise of making up to 20m gp an hour if RNGesus smiled upon you. That kind of money was staggering to me back then.
The route I took always meant I ran into Dharok last. Using mage meant I rarely saw his true power. His accuracy is poor at the best of times but there was that odd occasion where he would escape his bindings on low health and crack you one.
At that is when the rumors started.
Calling someone a ‘meat-head’ in regards to high level players in Runescape is more of a term of endearment to us. You know the type, big 2h weapon, power armor, overloads, all that Jas*.
*sorry
Well, Dharok swiftly became THE meat.
Barrows runs were becoming regular occurences, the money stayed good for a long time and the legend grew. Hearing someone scream in panic when you see a 4k hit from him fed the stories. We wanted to be as ‘meaty’ as the man himself.
How would we achieve this level of power? Well, this is where it gets a bit more odd.
The Runescape community carries a well known hatred of ‘exp wasting’, standing about doing nothing. Whilst bossing, that little quiet time between respawns, I would start doing the push-up resting override, as if it would help me follow in the footsteps of Dharok. Chanting the word “pump” in time with the press-ups just became ‘a thing’.
As a side note, at some point our ‘pump’ got connected to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mcGJA7-HeM Except we would shout “Grimy workout” after the series of ever enthusiastic “PUMPS!” because it was funnier!
As a side side note, I only heard the origins of the ‘pump’ thing today, and now that song is the funniest thing to me after years of shouting “pump” at all given opportunities when bossing over Skype.
Well, over the months ‘Pump’ became it’s own thing. Everything became pump. You always had to be Pumping something*. Herblore pump, runecrafting pump. If you were doing anything other than levelling on Runescape, that was not pump. Even questing was not pump, unless it assisted with future pump, then it was pump.
*easy, this is a family blog!
We started to fashion ourselves in his image. Combat became more of a focus in our daily activities and everyone within the clan changed their names to ‘X’ Meat. I am Tough Meat, following my interest in tanking when bossing. Your brand of Meat often reflects you as a follower of Dharok.
But pump was becoming a monster that could not be stopped. It has come to dictate our lives. Everything we do is in the pursuit of pump, to appease Dharok, in the hope one day we may share his strength.
Pump is no longer an activity… a means to an end.
It is a way of life.
And this is how we have arrived at this point. Dharok in our world view has ascended, yet was trapped and forced into undead servitude at the hands of the Mahjarrat Sliske. Pump, is a means of worship. You pledge yourself to the pursuit of pump, so that we may one day lend our strength to him. In order to escape the Shadow Realms influence and finally return to us, he will come to need our collective pump!
This has led to the formation of the Church of Pump.
We need more followers to join us in the pursuit of pump. The masses of Gielinor need to hear our message and that of our Lord. To bring Dharok back to the Mortal Realm and guide us further in the art of pump.
So that is the history of it. Hopefully it sums up the story so far.
This post is basically here so we can sign post people to when they wonder what the heck happened to our mental state… or if they want to know why we idolise Dharok in the way in which we do.
Hope you enjoy the read!
Alex / Tough Meat
Narrow Erudition 